I know I am way behind on posting about things that have been happening. I have been so busy just trying to make it day to day. I have been in a lot of pain with my legs, back, and hands. Besides that my mother and father demand so much of me these days. I wanted to share with you two things. One my mom came in the house after being out in the yard and heard a woman sobbing in her family room. Sobbing real hard. She immedietly ran in there, but no one was there. My dad has been seeing people in his room and having conversations with them. In case some of you newer people who don't know my dad has Pick's disease or frontal temperal dimentia and alsheimers. His behavior is very strange at times and he is very forgetful etc. He told my mom that a man came to see him that was tall and Identified himself as George Keller. My dad's name is George Keller, but he said it wasn't him but another George. My grandfather's name was George and I believe there were a few others with the same name. My mom said he knew a detective friend when he was in the police force who was tall and had the same name. He has been dead a long time now. Then he told my mom that a guy who identified himself as my dad's son appeared to him and was so glad to see him and my mom. He said he was a doctor and my dad was so proud to have a doctor for a son. My dad doesn't have a son that is a doctor...He described him perfectly and might of said a name, but my mom forgot who he said. He kept bringing up the same story for days and yelling at my mother for not knowing her own son! Another night he called out to my mom to get all the strangers out of his room so he could sleep. I thought and thought about this and I think he is not hallucinating but really seeing people who have crossed. Perhaps they are there so that he gets used to them for when the time comes. He is deteriating more and more every day and I am having a hard time dealing with it. My mom is in denial and I know she will be helpless if he is gone. She constantly wants me there and I just can't deal with it more then a couple of times a week. Its too much of a mental drain on me. She fell on mother's day and banged herself up really bad. She sprained her ankle and knee and pulled her kneck out of place and her back hip etc. I spent the day in the emergency room with her trying to keep my father calm. He can't even remember what he ate 2 min ago let alone what happened and he expects her to wait on him hand and foot. I spent the next three days with her on and off doing and running for her. I adore my parents with all my heart, but she doesn't understand that I live 30 min away and I have to drag my handicap kid over there and my other son. I have so much to do here and I can't be in two places at one time. She refuses to move closer to me and won't ask my sister and brother to help me out once in awhile. They always have excuses why they can't help her. But I try, I really do try. My life is so hectic these days I want to crawl in a whole and hide from the world, but I can't. Sigh.. So If you don't see me around that much you can understand what I am going through. I hope I don't sound selfish, but my mom can't even throw a switch if she blows a fuse and I have to run over. If she was here or close it would be so much easier.
Sorry for the burden, but thats what has been going on with me and my world. ?_?

((((Mary))))
I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Don't ever think you burden us by venting your feeling or events here. This group has proven to be very supportive in hard times. I find it easier to post about thing bothering me here than to my own family! I wish I could help you somehow. The only thing I can do is to tell you that I do think of you often and will keep you in my prayers until things get better for you.

As for your father, I think that he may be experiencing real contact with the other side, much as John Edward does. However, I also think that it's not consistent and is mixed in with hallucinations, much like dreams. The heightened emotional state in their lives may be the cause of all the new activity as passed family members may be around to help or try to.

Wow, Mary... what a heavy burden you have with all of this. Sweetie, you can ALWAYS come and talk with us here... and we will give you all the prayers and support we can muster, short of being there. I really wish that some of us could be there with you, to kind of help out some way... even if it was just watching your kids for a while, or cooking an evening meal for you, whatever.
I do think that your father is having a number of visitors from the other side. I feel like they are gathered there to show him the way, when his time comes. It is comforting to know that he won't be alone and confused, but will be received with love and understanding.

Take care, Sweetie!! We will be thinking of you often, and our prayers and comforting thoughts will be frequent and full of love. I send all of the white light I can muster to your dad, your mom, and to you and your family, as they deal with this sad situation.

Blessings and a gazillion warm hugs!

azspirit

Oh Mary.
Thank you for sharing that with us. If there is anything we can do for you it is sharing on this board. I know everyone wishes they could do more for you.
You're carrying alot on your shoulders. More weight than many can carry. Do what you can for as long as you can but please don't forget yourself. Remember you have to take care of yourself or you can't take care of others.
I'll be praying for you and your family.
Please share what you can with us. It's the least we can do to help.
And please take some ME time. Even if it's just to curl up in bed and have a good cry to let out all the stress that's building up.

P.S. One thing I keep forgetting is relying on others to help me with things. Often friends and family are not doing something to help because I haven't said anything or asked. Is there some people in your life that you could tap to help you out? If not to help with your parents, maybe to help with your children, home, etc.?? Share some of the burden? Maybe a few heartfelt words to friends and neighbors, or some words to you brother and sister?

Thank you all for you sweet sentiments. I guess I was pretty overwhelmed last night. Thanks for all the support as well. I love you all. As for asking for help with my siblings, I talked to my brother this morning and he said he called mom on sat and she said she didn't need anything! Geez. She tells him one thing and me another. I think part of it is she wants me because she thinks I have all the answers and I am the most level headed. My brother is a dreamer and my sister is very self absorbed. I am the youngest other then my adopted brother who is currently in Jail again. That is another story... mom made me executer of the will as well and I am not sure how they are going to take that when the time comes. But they also know I am honest and fair.
I thank God for my family and you my friends and my 6 furbabies. Yes I got one of my springer puppies back. She is doing well and I like her. Her name is Suzie. Please know that I keep you all in my thoughts everyday and miss you all when I am not able to be here. ;-)

If I may butt in one more time about this.
Help your Mom to understand what you have to go through for her. Tell her to accept help from your brother and sister. Tell your brother to help anyway. Despite what your mother thinks.
The situation can exist where everyone helps and your burden is not so crushing. For your sake and your families sake. =) =) =) And your furbabies. I'm sure they're missing out on some quality time. =)

Mary, I echo what everyone else has said. I face some of these same things myself, and I understand how you feel. It does always seem to be one child in every family who is the sole caretaker of a parent. I am the youngest, and the responsibility is left to me also. Difficult as it may be, you may have to just tell everyone "no" a few times, or try to work out a compromise as to when you can do something. I have a feeling, with your Dad and his illness, your mother may be relying on you as the sole provider of her physical needs, as welll as her emotional ones. Try to be patient with her, do as much as you can, but say no when you have to.
As for your father and the hallucinations/apparitions, it is very likely both, as Pandora said. I remember when my grandmother passed away, she took my hand and said "Carrie?" like she hadn't seen me in years. I was 17 at the time, and looked a great deal like her older sister whom I was also named for. I never knew if she was seeing me, or another girl 70 years ago.
I also remember my father's last stay in the hospital, although the medication was attributed, I never really knew for sure. At times, he was talking to young men, encouraging them to go ahead and jump, there was nothing to be frightened of (he had been a paratrooper in WWII), other times he appeared to be talking to his grandmother, who had raised him. Several times, I saw a swirling mist in the corner of the room. Logically, I told myself it was a trick of the sunlight, but the nagging doubt remains.
I do think as people are in a weakened condition, relatives and loved one's spirits come to them. I certainly hope so.
Hugs to you, my dear Mary, keep your chin up and please remember to take care of yourself also. You are loved by many. =)

So sorry to hear about your dad and your mom. No one ever feels good by bottling things up you need to let it out. I also agree that i beleive your dad is experiencing the other side maybe it is his dad.

I havent been on the board for a few months so you may not know or remember me. But i think about you all on the board often.

Your in my thoughts.

deedee

I'm so sorry about what you're having to deal with... it's definitely too much for one person's plate. Your siblings really need to shake their heads at what they are doing and start helping out huh? I hope they do for your parents sake and mainly your sake.
What consists of your father, I'm seeing it the same way Kim is, it seems like it could be real contact blended with hallucinations but boy, tough call with an illness like that. I cared for my grandmother for the last year of her life (also had dimentia) and some of the things the woman talked about or yelled at me about were pretty gripping, sometimes making a lot of sense and other times, I just didn't get it.
I sincerly hope that things start to get better for you...
(((HUGS))) Nancy

Mary,

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I wish I knew something to do to help. Since your brother and sister are not eager to help out physically do you think that they might contribute money towards hiring a nurse or caretaker to be there at least part of the time? I haven't any idea how expensive that would be but health insurance may provide for some home care for your father and it would help you a great deal to not have the whole responsibility all yourself. Please don't hesitate to come here and tell us about it. We all want to help out if we can, and like Nakis said don't forget to take time out for yourself.

Renee =)

Mary,

I echo... everybody! I am sorry you're having to go through such a tough time and I wish your siblings were more helpful. =( Maybe, as Nakis suggested, you should tell them to help your mom even when she says no. You have your family that needs you too - you can't do everything.... and I don't want to see you get ill!

I too think your dad is seeing past the veil. I think that in his condition, his normal adult mental block against such things is no longer there to prevent him from seeing.

Many hugs to you and yours!
Kell