Whaley House? Did I hear someone say Whaley House? I love that place!
You do not have to take the private tour to see, feel or be touched, smell, or photograph phenomena at Thomas and Anna Whaley's house. Go during the day. There usually are not huge crowds, and you can wander through the house and stay as long as you like. If something is going to happen there, it is just as likely going to occur in the daylight than at night.
If you are going to San Diego, definately take the rather pricey ghost tour trolley. They go to several places. It is great fun, and you get to learn some history and see the city. We take it every visit.