Well, its seems I didn't do a very good job helping my Mom to the otherside, cause she's back!
Really not bothering me much, just in lucid dreams. But she is freaking out my younger sister.
My sister now refuses to go down to Mom's house (my sis lives 2 doors down) to run the water and flush the toilets and check on things. Kat is scared because things have happened while she was down at Mom's, lights, sounds, etc. So.....I have to go up and pack up Mom's home. Kat is going to help me, but she said I am used to these things and she would feel better if I were there?
I told my sister that Mom is just trying to let her know she is alright? She and my Mother were very close.
So she wants me also to talk to Mom? I guess my sisters 8 year old son is having problems with his toys turning on. I bought him a train alarm clock a couple Christmas's ago, and when it wakes you up it says "choo, choo, all aboard," and the train goes around a track? My sister took all the batteries out of everything to stop it. And she just said she needs me to help.
So, and I don't know if this is a good idea. But I told her come get me and I will try and talk to Mom about what's going on.
My sister is really scared. We shared a bedroom until she got older and seen things happen around me and Mom and Dad moved her out of our room. LOL
I am going next weekend, so everyone wish me luck!
My brother won't go in the house either? I have to think of what I am going to do about all this?
Thanks for listening and any idea's would greatly be appreciated. I have never had to deal with someone so close. This is going to be hard on me for several reasons. But I have m faith if nothing else.
Love you all,
Piggerita

Peg;
That is tough, I really wish you the best. I dont know what else to tell you.
Tom

I'll tell you what I did with my Dad. My father died suddenly in 2001. For the next week me, my Mom, my brothers and my youngest nephew woke up at @ 4:15 AM. We would hear Dad's shuffling footsteps walking up and down the hall at my Mom's. My parent's cats would not enter the bedroom where he died for any reason. Lights, including the street light outside, would turn off and on. My Mom worried that Dad had not moved on. He was still in the house. Finally I lost patience with him. I scolded him and asked him How he expected to make it Home if he didn't continue his Journey? I assured him that we loved him but it was time for him to move on. Since then he has moved on but he still checks in from time to time.

My parent's house is an old one which for some reason was built with individual heaters for each room rather than central heat. The heater in the kitchen has to be turned off when using the microwave or it will trip a circuit breaker. Mom was heating her dinner in the microwave and therefore had the heater turned off. She went to use the bathroom while her dinner was heating and when she came back, the microwave was done and the heater was back on! Mom asked my brother if he had turned the heater back on but he hadn't even been in the kitchen!

Hi Peg,

Well this is not going to be easy. Perhaps your Mom is just coming back for a visit or maybe there is something she feels she needs to finish. Sometimes loved ones return to give us a message or simply to let us know as you mentioned that they are alright. Is there a special date coming up in your family that may be a reason for the visit? Well I wish you luck and believe that all will work out fine and you will obtain the answers you seek, Keep the faith.
=) Hugs
Cat

Peg, I and my mom had the same experience when dad past away. He did not go. Mom kept on seeing him.. talking to him... she was in the beginning stages of dementia .. so I passed that off as part of the dementia.. she would come get me almost in a state of panic that he had left the house and was stnding in the street .. I had to humor her and go look for him. When I would come back and tell I could not find him she would say that he came back in and was now sleeping. All this was heartwrenching for me having just lost my dad and my mom losing her mind. Sometimes I have to wonder about things that happen were "meant-to-be". I had lived with my parents since I was a kid... anytime I wanted to move out mom and dad did not want me to... which was weird ... most parents really want their kids out so they can enjoy some time to themselves. when I was in my early 30's Dad was first diagnosed with cancer.. and went in for surgery to have a portion of one of his lungs removed.. the operation went smoothly.. but during recovery he suffered a massive stroke... he had to be in therapy for a year afterward... just to relearn how to swallow, hcould not longer talk coherrently, he could say a few words but would endlessly repeat those same words .. thinking he was carrying on a conversation. He kept steadily going down hill from there. Mom and I was his caretakers.. Jan.1, 2000 He was rushed to the hospital for having trouble breathing. It was determined then he had a large inoperable tumor near the air passage of his once good lung... they gave him about a month. However he made it to the morning after his 77th birthday on March 27. He was in good spirits the night before and held his first great- grandson who was a few weeks old for the first and only time. The next morning he passed on, at home. Mom went down hill from that point... was like all she was living for was gone.
But she did not fully accept that he was gone. When in fact he was still there. I would get so frustrated with her .. because she could still seem him and talk with him and I could not. Her condition kept getting worse I got a call at work one day that she needed help .. it was from our neighbors. I was on my way to west knoxville on a delivery run... when they radioed me. I broke all speed laws getting home.. I got there the neighbors were out side peeking through the front door ... she was laying on the couch inside. I unlocked the door .. and went in ... she was awake but said she could not move ... I got her up into a sitting position .. called my brothers ... and they left work and rushed over and we took her to the hospital ... she nver came back home. She wound up in a nursing home. where she lingered for a year. It was only then did I begin to notice dad in the house. Our house was a basement rancher.. dad had operated a mechanics garage in the basement since the house was built.
Once whne I had went down to the basement to find something ... I was alone at the house and had locked the door upstairs. I hear his unmistakeable footsteps on the floor above come from his bedrrom to the other end of the house and then I heard the back door slam. Needless to say this shook me a bit. I ran upstairs as we had not indoor access to the basement I had to go out and around the house I found the back door locked as I had left it ... and I went inside nothing had changed inside. A few weeks later I had brought over a friend to help me to clean out the basement... we were both busy sweeping... when again the footsteps and the door slam. My friend looked at me and asked who was upstairs? I just looked at my friend and said "You heard it too??"
Then I told him it was dad. At least I knew it was not my mind playing tricks on me. And needless to say my friend was ready to go home. I think Dad was there waiting for Mom to come with him. I got married before mom got in too bad of shape... we sprung her from the nursing home to come to my wedding, Dec 31 2001. She seemed in pretty good spirits that day ..
(Note: just a year before this pic was tken mom looked like a woman in her early 60's... she had aged 20 years in a years time she was only 75 when she passed away)
The next day I moved to FL with my new bride and her family... mom kept on a downward spiral and passed away in Nov of 2002. Since then the house was sold and someone is living there, I have no idea if dad is still there or not... except I have a feeling he moved on when mom joined him.
In Life they could not stand to be apart and in death as well. The docs said it was dementia I say it was a brokenheart.

Sorry this was so long ... Peg .. but I think maybe your mom is there for some reason other than to give your siblings the heebies. She still wants to be part of the family or there is something she wants to make sure is done. Maybe she hid something ... something that she wants you to find. who knows but sending her away may not be an easy task until she is satisfied her job is done.

[ January 31, 2004, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: Alan64TN ]

I believe the spirit stays behind until "it" feels that the duties that needed to be accomplished have been. Like Alan said, I feel there must be something in the house that she feels you need to know, or see. If it were me I would take my time going through the personal belongings, talk to her while you do this. She will point you in the right direction. In most cases it has been my experience that the spirit of someone you love dearly simply wants that last bit of contact.

Hi Peg,
Has your sister tried talking to your Mom? I really think that would help. If she's afraid, maybe you could both go down to her house and talk to her together. This may sound wierd, but I had a friend who was killed in a freak car accident. She followed me to work, home, etc. and drove me nuts. I told her basically "look Sharon, you're dead. You're creeping the peewaddin' out of me 'cause I'm not used to this kind of stuff. I'll see you on the other side."
After a couple of these conversations, she (ahem) vanished. No more Sharon.
You're sister has to be going nuts pulled in 2 directions-there's the AAAhhhhh!!! a ghost!!!! And there's the get a grip, it's just Mom. Totally wierd.
Is your sister the baby of the family? That could have something to do with it, too. If you're mom always gave a bit more protection than the other sibs, sis may need to kindly remind Mom that she's grown and will be okay.
Here's another off the wall idea-try to get on John Edward's show or go see a reputable medium. (I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but they are out there) Maybe she really has something she needs to communicate with your sister and sis is too busy being scared to let it sink in.
This is an interesting conundrum to be in.
Lots of luck to you all...and peace to your mother,
Musicalmama

Hi all,
Well, Curt and I didn't make it today because of my doctor........but that's another story in itself!
My sister and I are going to spend some time at Mom's house alone, maybe some packing, some memories and do our nails? I bought something special for my sister, a gold bracelet for each of us that says "Bestfriends." Hopefully it will give Mom a sign that big sister is here. I am the oldest, Kat is the youngest of us three. Her and my Mom were extremely close, and I was the problem child. =)
Mom is now at Kat's house? Her husband also acknowledges it, but he told Kat not to tell me so I don't go do my heebee jeebee's crap? Whatever that is? My sister trusts me to help her in this matter. Poor kid seen too much when we shared a bedroom LOL!
And like I told my sister, I have somethings I need to come to terms with also. So, will just do it together.
I think Mom's just trying to tell her she loves her and she's alright now. But your also correct in my Mom always worried about Kat alot and that does come from being the baby.
I also get the feeling when we get all this "will" stuff settled things will calm down. Here I am in another state and I told my sis to go ahead and get an attorney to deal with it and gave her the name of Mom's laywer she liked from many years ago. And it will as I said calm Mom down to see me and my sister and brother close again.
It's hard for me being sick. I hope Mom see's my effort to be there for them. I kinda know she will.
Thanks everyone, love ya' lots,
Piggerita

Peg,
Do you think maybe mom is protecting her stuff so it goes to the right people? I think your borther-in-law should have the heebie jeebies and she doesn't want certain things going to his relatives.

Also, your mom was always the one that kept blocking your brother and sister from being sensitive like you - she could just be trying to tell them that she was wrong.

Connie, that is a great point. I'd have to say that I agree with you on both points. I think everyone gave great advice.

Peg, I just know that your Mom see's the effort that you are putting forth and is so appreciative. I also think that it's wonderful that you and your siblings are remaining close. You know, maybe that is another reason that Mom is hanging around. Her being there and your sister and brother being scared is keeping you guys close. Not that you wouldn't remain close regardless, but maybe to Mom that is one sure fire way to make sure.

Keep us updated on how things are going.
((((Hugz)))) and much love to you!

[ February 07, 2004, 09:02 AM: Message edited by: Trinity ]