My mom passed away 8 months ago...not like we didn't see it coming but.....anyway...My parents divorced when I was twelve. Dad died due to complications from MS when I was 21. It seems that it was always just me, Mom and my older sister being a family. We were very close knit.
My sister and I were blessed to have the chance to be with Mom when she passed...I'm thankful for that...but even yet, I find that I'm not dealing with her death very well...I'm constantly dreaming about Mom and wake up feeling deep-down, kicked in the gut sad. I still have a sweatshirt that Mom wore, it's hanging in my closet. I find myself burying my face into it just trying to smell her...but it's gone. I need help dealing with my grief but I don't know where to go or what to do. Sometimes it's almost like I start to panic, feeling like I've got to get to her, talk to her, somehow communicate with her. Is there any help for me?

Hon, what you are experiencing is grief. I lost my mother in November, and I've gone through some of the same things. I can't tell you that the wounds heal and you get over it -- you don't. Losing a parent is horribly traumatic regardless of your age.

The pain will lessen, but you will more than likely always have times that you tear up when you remember. Just today, I was driving down the road listening to that old Rod Stewart song, "Forever Young". I boohooed going down the road because the words immediately reminded me of my parents.

Pay attention to your dreams. These may be your Mom's way of communicating with you. Write them down and see if there is a pattern or message. It may take awhile before something jumps out at you, but you will know it is significant when it happens. An emotion as strong as the love between a parent and child never goes away, even in death. They are always with you, you just can't see them. I look at my own child, and I know I would eat nails for her if I had to. Something that strong just doesn't go away.

Good luck, stay busy, and give yourself plenty of time to grieve. You have every right to. ((((lizziegirl))))

Lizziegirl, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mother. (((Hugz)))

I have to echo what Carrie has already said. You're definitely in the grieving process. I lost my brother about 2 years ago. While the pain has lessened somewhat, I find myself, like Carrie, still tearing up at times while remembering and thinking about my brother. It never just goes away.

I also have to agree that you should definitely pay attention to your dreams. I had two very distinct dreams about my brother where I really feel like he was sort of "checking in" to make sure that I was ok. Keeping track of your dreams is an excellent idea!

The only other advice that I can offer is this, give into the grieving process or the flow of it rather. You will have some days that you feel pretty ok, and others where you may not even feel like getting out of bed. Just let things happen as they happen and don't fight it. Grieving is like being on an emotional roller coaster, while it's not enjoyable in the least, it's very necessary.

Take care Lizziegirl, and if you ever need to vent or just need to talk, we're always here.

(((Hugz)))

Trin

Lizziegirl,

Wow I teared up just reading these posts..

I am so extremely sorry to hear about your mom. That has got to be tough. I can imagine what it's like cause I am so attached to my mom so if anything ever happened to her I would be a total mess.

Is your sister around?? Maybe you should spend some time with her if you can. How is she taking all this?

I wish I could give you some advice or say something to make your pain go away. If you ever wanna chat or just feel like writting you can always write me.

Take Care Lizzie! *Huggs*

Your Friend
Candi

I appreciate you all so much!!! =)
I've been paying attention to my dreams, I guess that's what's been bothering me. In the majority of them, Mom isn't (or won't) interacting with me. Some of my dreams are of her when she was young and healthy. Other times, she just stands and stares at me, no matter how much I beg her to say something..anything! In some dreams, she may not even be there, but in the midst of something totally unrelated I tell whoever "By the way, did you know that my Mom died?" Now, how wacked is that? I firmly believe in contact thru dreams, I've experienced it when my friend and my cousin both died. I know it happens. So why can't I get that same solace with Mom? I don't know....
Yes, my sister lives in the same town as I do but we deal with our grief in different ways ( which is perfectly cool with the two of us!)
Before this post gets much longer.....do any of you think that a psychic could help me? How do I go about finding a reputable one? I realize that I can never have Mom back...but....

I know what you mean. I would love to have just five more minutes with my parents. The only advice I could offer on finding a reputable medium would be to contact a local New Age bookstore, or something along those lines and getting some references.
I haven't had much luck myself in finding one. I've made my husband promise me that someday, he'll get me in to see one of the famous ones like John Edwards or James Van Pragh (sp?) Good luck with your search! Get a good dream interpretation book and see if some of those things you think are unrelated just may have some relevance after all!

Lizziegirl ((hugs)) I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom. I agree with the wonderful words and adivce already spoken by Carrie & Trin and the suggestion of spending time with your sis by Candi.

It sounds like you have had a couple of different dreams with/about your Mom - memory dreams and visits. I have experienced visit dreams in the past and most of them were with me being the only one that spoke as well. Your Mom is letting you know that she is ok and with you always by coming to you in your dreams that way. I hope you can find some comfort in that. I'm not sure how or why we sometimes can hear loved ones in our dreams and other times not.

Your dreams of you telling others that your Mom has died - I think that may be your subconscious mind helping your conscious mind in some way to deal with your grief. By saying those words in your dreams maybe it has or will help you to speak them more easily in the waking hours if that has been a difficult thing for you to do. When I lost my GrandMother (Mom's Mom) my Mom dealt with her grief by talking about it lots and being the one to tell others she had died, while my Dad who lost his Dad a couple years later still to this day has trouble talking it. Dad recalls and tells many stories about my GrandFather but not about his passing.

Lizziegirl as the others have mentioned the grieving process is necessary and although the hurt never truly goes away it does lessen some with time. Maybe when that happens you will then find some solace in your visit dreams with your Mom. ((hugs)).

Not all psychics have the ability to commuincate with the other side so as Carrie has mentioned seek out a reputable medium.

Sending lots of white light,
Cat

Lizziegirl,
I am so sorry for your loss. I use to hate it when people would say that they understand, but people really do. My sis died at 21 and then in 1996 i lost both my parents. It's only me as well, no aunts, uncles, noone. So i do understand. Take everyones advice given above, its the best advice i heard =) I will keep you in my thoughts and send much white light your way. If you ever need someone to talk to, we are always here, and you can always email me too.

(((Lizziegirl)))

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss but take comfort in the knowledge that your not alone. I too lost my mother on NewYears, 2004 and received many kind replys to my desperate post shortly there after. People here are wonderful and although my grief has kept me away from this board- I felt compelled to respond. I was the only child of a single mother, and her loss truly left me alone in this world. Unconditional love only exists between a parent and a child, and I mourned the loss of it. It is a very hard road your travelling and there are no words that can accuratly describe your pain- time does not always ease pain, sometimes quite the contrary is true. For me, it has been filled with firsts without her- and the pain overwhelms me all over again. All of the advice you have received is heartfelt and helpful, but only you can help yourself get through it. I found myself watching very old people, struggling to simply walk or exist and I'd rage " Why not him? He seems ready- why my mother?" Its not something I am proud of but my mother was only 54 and the elderly suddenly made no sense to me. I found myself constantly looking for signs, anything at all that would let me know somehow she was still around. I never received those signs and lost a once strong faith in the afterlife. I knew in my heart if my mother could have -she would have. I also became angry with those around me who seemingly got over her- I just wanted to stand in the middle of the street and scream to the top of my lungs "the most amazing women in the world has died", and I needed the whole world to stop and take notice. For me, I think the hardest part was acknowledging that Life does go on, and it does not tarry with yesterday. I also fear my own death and what it would do to my children, and how one day they would feel this pain. I guess my point is, that whatever you may be feeling- it is normal and to allow yourself to experience it all. I found great comfort in talking with my grief councellor, and I would suggest investing in that before you seek other means to reach your mother. You need to get on the track to healing before you take the chance on someone who could easily feed you what your so willing to hear right now. I'm not saying that a medium couldn't one day help you reach your mother, but its important that you first learn to adjust to life without her. You will get stronger and you will come to a point where you can think of her and smile or laugh rather then cry and hurt. I will keep you in my thoughts and if anything I hope I was able to let you know your not alone, the road your on is well travelled. Take care Lizziegirl