My mom died 10 years ago and Dec. 8th is her B-day. I miss her terribly and think of her everyday. Once in awhile I dream of her but in the last week or so I've been dreaming of her a lot. I can't really remember all of them except there sad and I can tell I was crying. She's either dead or I didn't finish something with her that I wanted to do. What do you think I should do? Also on another topic, every October I wake up to smell cigarette smoke in our room one year it was so strong I woke my husband up and he could smell it too, it was as if someone was smoking in our bedroom and were not smokers so it's easy to determine. Anyway we actually got up and searched our house for someone and we can never figure it out.

Hi greshampd

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom ((hugs)).

Loved ones do come to visit us in our dreams however we also can have dreams of our loved ones that are unsettling as it is our way of processing our feelings. With her birthday coming near and your thinking of her daily your crying dreams of late may be your way of dealing with those sad feelings right now. There are many things that you would have shared and that may be speak to the dreams where you feel you did not finish something. Sometimes if I have dreams that are unsettling I say a little prayer each night and ask for either the answer to why I am having those dreams or for them to be replaced with dreams filled with good memories/feelings.

The cigarette smoke smell. Seeing you have ruled out anything that may have caused this a couple question/thoughts come to mind. Do you know who lived in your home prior? Perhaps a former owner comes back to visit the place briefly around that time each year for some reason. Or do you have a loved one that is now on the other that may be linked to the month of October and/or the cig smoke?

Thanks for sharing your experiences, Hugs, Cat

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother and your bad dreams concerning her. Coming from someone who lost their mom (and best friend) I agree with you that it IS so hard. You are a part of your mom, you came from her. It is like losing a part of yourself when a mother dies. Six months after my mom passed away I had a great dream that told me that my mom had passed over. So I had some closure that has helped a lot. Maybe can you ask her to come into your dreams and give you a good dream about her and tell you that she has passed over? Of course you will still miss her, but it makes you feel so much better that they truly are in a better place. If the dream thing doesn't pan out, is there a way you can plan a day to just visit your mom's grave, write her a letter to tell her how you feel, just make the day all about her? Maybe that will give you some closure. About the cigarette smoke, did your mom smoke? Might that be a sign that she is revealing herself to you? Good luck to you, like I said, having losing someone like your mom has got to be one of life's toughest things. My brother told me once of a Japanese woman that told her daughter, that after she died, if the daughter ever felt bad and missed her, to look at her own hand, because she would be looking at a part of her mother since we come from inside our mothers. This has helped me so much and I find myself looking at my hand and realizing not all of her is gone. Hope that might help you. God bless.