Hi All:

First, I want to thank you all for your white light and prayers. I'm still alive and kicking and for that I am thankful. I'm having a problem with my temper though around here. I have been either mean as spit or crying and depressed. Rarely anything in between unless I'm sleepy. What's up with that? I say things like, I'd rather be out of this body and free, when I know I've been blessed with a second chance. This has been such a traumatic thing for me, and I dont mean to whine. I know lots of people have had bypass surgery. Maybe its because someone actually touches your heart that it does something to the spirit. I dont know. I'm trying not to let this long recovery get to me, but its driving me nuts. I refused surgery for 2 days, and actually was not afraid of dying at all. My son is who convinced me to go with it. They said I was hanging by a thread, literally, 5 arteries, 95% blocked and more. And I didnt even know it. Anyway, I do appreciate yall and your prayers, I know they have helped me through this. Now, if I can just come out the other side of this, with my sanity.

Hugs,
Pate

aww, pate, your body and spirit went through a very tough thing. I am glad your son made you go in! Recovery is hard on you physically and emotionally and it will hopefully all resolve soon. Know that we are here for you no matter what mood you are in!

(((pate)))

Aww Pate, in about 6 months you will feel free and alive...you will know when that time comes. It happened to me when I had major surgery 5 years ago.

Vent all you want...its good for you! I told my sisters, whenever they want to vent...they're always welcome to call me or email me instead of their family. I email them because it feels good banging on my keyboard. =)

(((Hugs)))
Wendy

Pate, I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time. These feelings will not last however, as you start feeling better and getting further along in the recovery, you'll start to also feel better emotionally as well.

I am so glad that your son was able to convince you to have the surgery!!! You've been through some major trauma and that takes awhile to get through, both physically and mentally. It's tough, and may continue to be so for awhile...but there is a light at the end of the tunnel darlin. And just know, that we are ALWAYS here for you to listen!

Sending (((Hugz))) and much love your way!

Hi Pate,

I am sorry you are having a difficult time. Do know what you are experiencing is normal after a major surgery. In paticular one that causes your life to change almost instantly. What I mean is you are not able to do all the things you were used to doing while you recover and that is a difficult thing to deal with. There can also be helpless type of feelings during this time. I am still experiencing that some days myself. In a sense I feel like I went through a grieving process, for my life as it used to be. Others told me things will get better and they were right, it has. I am not at all saying I know exactly how you feel nor am I saying my experience was at all the same as yours just that you are not alone, many have felt this way following surgery and it's ok! You've been through a major trauma, you not only need time to heal but to process all that has happened sweetie.

We all need diversions or release to help us deal with stress, anger or sadness like exercise, work, social activities, creativity but that same release is not there while you are recovering. At least not entirely but there are things we can do that will help. I did alot of writing and took up painting. I know you love to write poetry and perhaps you are still writing, but if not it can help to do that more. You will continue to get stronger and as you do I promise you will feel better. Within every challenge we face there is a shining light that will emerge.

As the others have said, we are all here for you so vent as often as you need. I too am glad that you listened to your son and had the surgery. Fill your thoughts with positive affirmations, it truly can make a difference.

Sending you white light, postive energy, love and ((hugs)), Cat

Pate,
im so sorry your going thur this, but i feel you are a very strong person, and i know things will get better=D Never feel like you are venting, its good to talk about how you feel, and we are all here to listen=D Sending lots of white light and Love your way, Alicia

Pate, when I was 15, my mother was faced with the same situation you were in. She was diabetic and underwent bypass surgery. For a while afterward, she had an awful time with mood swings. What you are going through is perfectly normal, but don't ignore it. Give it a few weeks and if it doesn't get better talk to your doctor, especially if he/she is a good one that you trust.

Everyone is right, you've been through an awful lot in the last few weeks. You'll recover, but it is going to take some time and patience. When I had my hysterectomy it was a major thing emotionally. Not in the sense that most people would expect -- losing my uterus and knowing I couldn't get pregnant. For me, I had dealt with all of that long before. What was frustrating for me was being so darned weak and just not feeling like myself for several months -- plus, the idea of having to rely on others when I had always prided myself on independence. It is hard to go from being a very active person to having to stop and force yourself to rest; but, you've got to give your body time to heal itself.

Kudos to your son! He did the right thing.

This is another hurdle in life, but you will overcome it. (((((hugs)))))

Hang in there Pate! Everything will be ok! Just as the others have already stated, this is normal behavior after someone has gone / is going through a traumatic event. Any time you need to vent, just come here and let it out! We've got your back! Soon you will be like a whole new woman, and ready to party and blow off some steam!!

BK

((((((Pate))))))

I concur with the others; this is a normal thing that happens after any traumatic event/illness. Just let it out; we're here for you. You have the right to cry, be depressed.... this surgery was a difficult one - dare I say, a life-changing event, but it has also given you a new lease on life. Emotions will run wild for awhile.

Now you just need to concentrate on getting better. I know it isn't easy, but try to accept that you need to take time out to recover. It may be a long road, but have Patience sweetie, I know you'll be right as rain again. As Carrie said though, don't ignore it if it doesn't get better with time -- talk with your doctor.

As difficult as it may have been, I'm glad you listened to your son and went through with it. He still needs you. You did the right thing.

Much love,
Kell