I'll try to make this short. My mom passed away 5 1/2 years ago. She was diagnosed in June and passed away (brain cancer) 4 mos. later. We were best friends as well as mother/daughter.

Anyway, I've always loved my mother's engagement ring. It is a smallish marquise diamond, white gold setting. My mom (in a goulish way!) used to tell me it would be mine after she died. When she passed away, I was obsessed with this ring for some reason. The first thing I did (I'm embarassed to admit this, but I honestly wasn't 'grabby' I was more like obsessed with it) when we went back to her house was to get that ring and claim it as mine. My brother was fine with it, it was like having a little piece of my mom, he didn't care.

So it's been 5 and 1/2 years and I can't wear the thing! Every time I put it on, I get this feeling just like this overwhelming feeling to take it off, that it isn't mine and that's kind of what you get for being greedy. Now my mom wanted me to have this ring because she knew I feel in love with the story of how my parents picked it out, but then my dad saved it as a surprise so she wasn't sure when she was going to get it, etc. She mentally gave it to me freely, and I'd like to wear it some day but I just get this very sobering feeling when I put it on - not like anything or anyone Really is telling me to take it off - it's just an overwhelming feeling. Can this be from her, or can it just be that I'm still traumized from her death that seeing the ring on my hand freaks me out because I was so used to seeing it on her hand? I have to add the feeling is not one of sadness. It's one of, "I have to take this thing off" it just has very bad vibes attached to it. I hope I'm explaining this well.

Regardless of what the feeling is, would it be possible to clear the negative energy by 'cleansing' it somehow? I might try that, and if that doesn't work, I might just put it away and give it to our son when he gets much older. I've pretty given up on the idea of wearing it anymore, the feeling is that intense.

Hi Madammacbre, it's nice to see you, hope things are well your way. =)

There may be a cpl reasons why you have such intense feelings. I can't say I know for certain why, so will just share the thoughts that came to mind when reading your comments. Hope that's ok.

As you noted, you were so use to seeing the ring on her hand so it is natural you would feel some unease when seeing it on your hand. It will likely take time to get used to seeing it on your hand. It's always traumatic to lose a loved one and there is no set time on how long we grieve, when or in what ways. Though the day to day gets easier, a day still doesn't go by that we don't miss them terribly, so looking at something or having something that reminds us just how much is going to bring up strong emotions, and even some of the thoughts/feelings we all tuck away into our subconsious. Although you feel a overwhelming negative feeling, extra emotions are coming in which likely makes it feel more intense like that.

The overwhelming feeling to take it off because it's not yours and that's what you get for being greedy, I think those feelings might be coming from you. Part of you may feel guilty for having those obsessed feelings about it, while you still feel the ring belongs to your Mom. So those feelings are being manifested in the thoughts you have when you put it on (or some of it). Even though your Mom told you herself she wanted the ring to be yours when she is gone. Perhaps because she told you that before she was ill, and the ring became yours long before you expected it would, the "take it off it doesn't belong to you" thoughts, is you saying no it should still be Mom's and she should still be here with us wearing it. =( I'm sorry if I am being too forward in saying any of this, I know how difficult it must be for you to have lost your Mom. Just trying to help, as part of me has the feeling that may be at least partly why you are getting such negative feelings when you wear the ring. ((hugs))

Another thing that may be adding to this is, you may be picking up on your Mom's energy. Our energy can be imprinted into items we own, especially jewlery. The type of energy that gets imprinted will vary, which is why those who can do psychometry can obtain all sorts of info about a person or connect to them by holding something personal of theirs. It can be overwhelming to feel energy from an item for the first time. I'm not saying her energy was negative btw. If she was wearing it or even holding it at times while ill, some of that may be felt as well. There are ways to cleanse an item of energy, you be able to even do a partial cleansing. You can find different methods on the web, if you want to try that. I have a collection of books and I'm pretty sure a cpl have info regarding cleansing (including jewlery with certain stones), I can look and see for you if you like, it would be no problem?

Have you tried wearing the ring on a chain rather than on your hand, to get use to having it with you? Or try wearing it for a short period of time, don't take it off if you get that overwhelming feeling instead replace the thoughts with something positive, and let yourself feel her positive energy. Or maybe it is just too soon, you are not ready to wear it yet?

I hope that helps a little, sorry it got long. I'm interested to hear what others think. In time I hope you can wear the ring. ((hugs))

[ June 11, 2006, 04:37 AM: Message edited by: Cat ]

I agree with Cat 100%. I lost both my parents in a period of just a few years and I've gone through some of this myself. It took me about a year to just open my mother's dresser drawer and when I did, it was like she was right there with me...I could smell her scent, sense her presence; it was an eerie, but not negative feeling.

I like the idea of wearing the ring around your neck to get used to it. I do that occasionally with my father's masonic ring. When I've had times where I've felt really insecure, I've done that and it made me feel so much better knowing I had even a small piece of him with me. When you feel odd about wearing it, think of all the positive, happy moments your mother spent with you. Your mother obviously wanted you to have it and I think she would probably want you to wear it and enjoy. (((((hugs))))))

I like the idea of wearing it around your neck. Everything we have that is personal becomes embodied with our energies. By wearing it around your neck you'll begin to put you energies into the ring.
I've found that the more you keep something next to you the more it becomes yours.
Even though I am sensitive to energies I don't mind wearing used clothes. Sometimes they can feel weird wearing them but I just flush them with my energy. And they always become mine (familiar to me).

I don't suggest the same thing with your ring. I would think you would always want your mother's energy to at least remain a little bit in the ring.

I wanted to suggest that everytime to try to wear the ring think about how much you loved your mother. Think of good times. Happiness you either shared with her or received because of her. Everytime you look at or touch the ring remember those good feelings.

Nakis I agree about not cleansing the ring. Madammacabre in answering your question regarding cleansing I should have noted that is not something I would do, in time when you are able to wear the ring you will feel the positive energy that is in the ring (your Mom's energy). As previously noted the negative feelings you are getting are likely coming from you and not the ring itself. As Nakis noted, your energy will also become imprinted into the ring as you continue to wear or hold it. You will always feel a bit of your Mom's energy though, it's an item she wore and cherished for a very long time which was a symbol of love, allow yourself to feel that energy as you think of the happiness you shared with her. =)

Nakis if an item came from a family member or friend whose energy I'm familiar with I'm fine with wearing it, however that is not always the case with items whose previous owner(s) are unknown to me. One of the strongest reactions I've had was while in a vinatge clothing store. There was this one dress that was perfect just what I was looking for, but I wasn't even out of the change room and I was not feeling at all like myself. I became even more overwhelmed when I looked in the mirror, it was an awful feeling I just knew I needed to get that dress off. Even the lady assisting me noted and asked if I was ok, it was that strong. There was definitely something about that dress.

Let us know how your doing Madammacabre, I do feel in time you will be able to wear the ring and the feelings you have now will be replaced with comfort and the positive feelings/energies it holds.

Thank you Everyone for your wonderful replies. Sorry I didn't post earlier, I needed the time to think about the responses, and as much as I wanted to 'blame' the 'bad vibes' on something/someone else, it does make sense. I really never thought of it that way, that the negative feelings may come from myself, but it does make perfect sense. I am very hard on myself if you haven't guessed already!

I will try the ring on a chain, although I must admit I'm sceptical - just because of how I felt before. To be honest though, my mom would never 'haunt' me this way, I have an over-active imagination and I'm sure she has other things to do in the afterlife rather than making me feel bad about her wedding ring.

Thank you for your honest answers. I love this site!!!

I know this reply is late but I'm new here and I really wanted you to know this madammacabre.
My best friend for 14 years passed away in Sept of 2002. We were very close and spoke in person or on the phone every day, we went everywhere together. She babysat my children.
Her family didn't care much for her because she was mildly retarded and they were ashamed of her.
They threw all of her belongings in the garbage after she died.
I had a few pieces of her jewelry that she had left at my house and her favorite watch (it has Tweety on it).
I didn't touch any of her things for about a year and then my watch broke,so I put hers on and I got that same feeling that you are getting with the ring. I just kept feeling like if I wore the watch then that was proof she was never coming back for it and that was painful.
I finally made myself wear it all day and that night she came to me in a dream. She told me how happy she was to see her mom again, and about all of the places she had seen since she left.
I've been able to wear the watch everyday since then with no strange feeling except when I look at it I think of her.
If you're seriously uncomfortable with wearing the ring then just don't wear it.
I really like the chain idea too.