Thank you to Carrie for giving me permission to post this. I'm hoping someone out there might get some insights to complement what I am thinking.

Hoping karmically I will get a reading based on this request as I have given many over the years!

[Edited for privacy reasons]

Please note that she is very hard to focus on spiritually. Your insights on that would be welcome, too. I have seldom come across a spirit who appears quite the way she does.

I realize how readings work so I do not expect an instant reply. Any insights are welcome and I would be happy to "tap in" to return the favour.

Regards,

Sebastian

[ December 22, 2006, 06:07 AM: Message edited by: Sebastian Tombs ]

The initial feeling I get from this is that this girl may be as slippery as a bar of wet soap. =) I also have a strong feeling you aren't being quite straight with us here in your story, for if at least ONE of you is not a "celebrity" or "well known", why on earth would you get TV, Magazine and Newspaper coverage??? That never happens to ordinary folks, at least that has never been my experience. The various media do not cover things that are not of real interest to a large audience. They are selling their wares based on their coverage of things that are newsworthy, which would include well known people or events in the lives of the famous or infamous, as the case may be.

As for the "romance", it is quite possible that this girl didn't feel the same way about you as you were feeling about her. She may have just discovered that maybe she was not really "in the relationship" to begin with... based on feelings that she has discovered both about herself and about you. If the chemistry isn't clicking for her, she may be looking for a way out, and she chose the blog as a reason, and that would be understandable, if the blog gets the visits that you say it does. You say she betrayed your trust.... is it possible that you betrayed her trust, too, by blogging things about your relationship with her? I would be put off by any fellow who did that to me. Things that happen in a relationship need to be kept basically private, and no one likes having details of their lives written and published by someone they thought they could trust.

I get a feeling that she is the celebrity here, and she was concerned about her career in whatever she does. Was part of your attraction for her based on that celebrity status? I sense that you are both young adults, and relationships are often not as stable when you are younger. Maturity brings something new to the table, which is a better understanding of yourself, and just what it is that you really want out of life. Tear away the "celebrity" part of the relationship, and ask yourself if that was a main trigger for the "relationship" in the beginning. If one of you wasn't a "celebrity", I don't think this would have happened in the first place... am I right?

It's okay if there is a celebrity involved here, and I would never reveal who you or the lady are, etc, even if I knew. I would rather not know. But, IF you were the celebrity here, I don't think you would see the girl running so fast in the other direction. Most girls LOVE that kind of attention from someone who is well known, and who probably would have a fan base of many other young ladies waiting in line to replace her. This is why I think she is the celebrity here, and you became enamored with her because of who she is to the world around her, and not so much your attraction to her true personality.

Love is like a butterfly. If you love it, set it free. If it returns to you, it is yours. If it doesn't return, it never was.

It's probably a good time to simply tell her that you are available to discuss this relationship whenever she is, and let her initiate the discussion when she is ready. If you don't hear from her, then it just wasn't meant to be. It is a sad thing to have to take this route, but it is the only way to test her true feelings about you.

I am not a reader, per se, or at least I don't call myself one. But, I do have a fairly strong psychic sense about people, and so I am just sharing my thoughts here.

Good luck to you in whatever you do,

Mare

Mare, thank you for being so honest. I am the one with a high-profile job. (If I get more specific, people will know who I am based on the location I fed in, which I really need to change!) I can clarify that she is neither a celebrity nor in the public eye. So as I read your response, there may be some truth but with the roles reversed.

Two extra facts that might help: my request to court was done with a question—rather than just "assume" we were at that stage. Secondly, with her knowing my intent, we recently went to Europe together.

What happened was our courting was outed on television after two or three weeks in mid-2006, and people began exaggerating where we were in the relationship stage. Now, bear in mind that she loved the attention—began telling her family to watch, etc.—and also welcomed coverage in newspapers and magazines. I was pretty appalled by what was being said on TV that the blog was used to say stuff like, 'No, viewers, she and I are not engaged as was claimed today.' In other words, I never revealed anything private—I sought to restore a sense of order. Indeed, I kept the real private stuff off the blog, which only contained clarifications of what was made public.

With hindsight, part of my attraction was that she had a very different life, as there are so many egotists in my industry, and, as you surmised, so many girls willing to take her place and “be seen”. I felt a real connection. I believed my feelings to be genuine. She may be using the blog as an excuse to exit because in our six months, my sig. file always linked it. For her to claim ignorance is a little far-fetched, surely? But then, she sees things differently to me. Maybe she was genuine about her concerns.

But we come back to this: if TV, newspaper and magazine are OK, then why not web? Answer: she fears being Googled. We are talking about other media that reach millions versus a little blog that gets 500 a day.

And we come back to her revealing private conversations, and telling others that there is nothing there, while on the same day telling me there is a relationship.

But your advice is still good about love and if it were meant to be, and I will do just that. I have already made up my mind to break it off—I was over 90 per cent of the way there—and I just needed to get that additional insight.

I hope that clarifies the situation for everyone. If you get any further insights, I would truly love for you to share them.

Hi Sebastian,

I have some thoughts on this as well, which I will share with you later, after I get them in order.

Best,
Kell

Hi Kell:

Thank you so much and what an honour to hear from the owner! =) I am calming down a bit over the situation.

Regards,

Sebastian

Pardon me for saying so, but you have only known one another for 4 months, how much trust can one expect a couple to build in that amount of time. I have a very difficult time trusting others if, I even think that they may be "jacking me around" (If I may say that). It seems to me to be a simple case of mistrust or lack of trust, and a failure to comunicate.
However, few things are ever that simple and I may be missing something(s) here.
at any rate, good luck with this,

Ravenheart

Good points, Ravenheart; call me naïve, but I always begin with a position of trust. I do agree that trust and communication have been lacking, but can’t shake the feeling there is something more at play here.

Hi Sebastian,

Sorry to be so much later in reply than I had intended, but here's what I'm getting...

Initially when I read your post, I believed you the be the 'high profile' of the two. Not her. I feel that this girl is not from your area... perhaps even from another country. This would explain why the major media in your area wouldn't bother her (because it isn't published as widely in her area), yet your blog does... because, as you said, it can be Googled. That can get back to her and others she doesn't want to find it easily. She may have other 'lovers' or significant others that she'd prefer don't know about her other relationships. So, on that point, I think you hit the nail on the head about her being Googled.

I feel you are both on the young side (late 20's, early 30's), you being 3 years older. You are an older soul, wheareas she is a younger one - no matter her age. She is simply immature when it comes to love and relationships and I think she may have more than one relationship on her stringer, if you will. This is why she's distancing herself from you - she feels vulnerable that she's been outted on your blog and is trying to keep her other relationships intact.

I too trust until given reason not to (not blindly, of course). You now have a reason not to trust her. At this point, no matter how heart-broken you may be, I'd let her go. If she's serious about you, she'll come back and say so. Until and if that happens, keep your heart on guard. If she seriously wants to make amends, I'd be asking for some answers as to why she acted the way she did.

Best,
Kell

Hi Kell:

Wow, you are spot on, and I thank you for putting your thoughts down for me. The (physical-world) age difference is 100 per cent right. Our ages are roughly right. The country difference is right, too: we live in different cities so this became an LDR. Presently I am ignoring her most recent email—still internally debating whether I should send a ‘Welcome to Dumpsville’ message in response or just stay silent, permanently, because her behaviour might not dignify any response.

Thank you again, Kell: you have helped put my feelings into perspective.

Best,

Sebastian